The Arts

Gentleman Callers

Beryl Webster and Liz Siddall discuss their gentlemen callers in The Pensioner, the Journal of the Brighton & Hove Pensioners’ Forum

Did you know that we old folk are worth a fortune?

We have silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in kidneys, lead in our feet and gas in our stomachs. I have become older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old woman. I am seeing at least six gentlemen every day! As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed, then I go to see Jimmy Riddle and then it’s time to breakfast with Mr Kellog, followed closely by the refreshing company of Mr Tetley or my other friend, who I know by his initials, PG.

Then someone comes I don’t like, Arthur Itis – he knows he’s not welcome, but he insists on being here and, what’s more, he stays for the rest of the day. Even then, he doesn’t like to stay in one place, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a hectic day I am glad to get to bed, with Johnny Walker – what a hectic life.

Oh yes, I am now flirting with Al Zheimer! The vicar came to call the other day and said that at my age I should be thinking about the here after. So, I told him that I did – all the time. For no matter where I am, the kitchen, the sitting room or the garden; I ask myself, “Now, what am I here after?”

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