Kate Dyson’s poetic take on the signs of the Zodiac.  A selection relevant to the current publication months of The Whistler. More to come .  .  . 

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

“Look in the eyes, for Man’s soul we see there,”

Said the Sage to the boy who claimed he didn’t care.

“What we see on the outside may well be a lie,

So seek out the truth – find the Gem in the Eye.”

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

As a child the big “C” was a word not to mention,

Causing premature death – no time for a pension.

It spread and caused havoc wherever it went,

Unforgiving, destructive, on death it was bent.

Today we have drugs that can keep it at bay,

Though fears of return still haunt us each day.

HATE is a cancer, it will just grow and grow,

It is ugly, unpleasant, as all of us know.

Anger is different. It flares up, though you’ll find

Twill diminish in time, leaving nothing behind.

So stick with the anger, let it just run its course,

But beware of the cancer, it will lead to remorse.

If all the world over this lesson was heeded,

We’d have peace and love , no guns would be needed.

LEO

July 23 – August 22

Leo’s the Lion with a mane like the Sun.

He’s handsome, he’s dangerous, and I’ll tell you, if one

Thing that women like best it’s this bloke

Whose exciting, a challenge, who loves a  good joke.

If you catch him, God help you, he’ll run you a-muck.

He’ll charm you, then cheat you and not  give a f***

I speak as an expert, I’ve had quite a few,

But keep that a secret between me and you!

 

How Many Members of Your Sign Does It Take to Change a Light bulb?

ARIES  Just one. Wanna make something of it?

TAURUS  Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that light bulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

GEMINI  Probably one is best, because if there are more than one, they’ll get so wrapped up in talking to each other that they’ll forget all about the light bulb.

CANCER  Only one, but three therapists will be needed to help with the grieving process.   OR Only one, as long as his mummy holds his hand.

LEO  Leos do not change their own light bulbs. They find someone else to do it for them.

VIRGO  1.11111119873, give or take .00000000000013%

LIBRA  Well, I could do it, unless of course you’d prefer to do it, but you look sort of busy right now. What do you want to do?

SCORPIO  One, from across the room, if they’ve learned their teleporting lessons well enough.
OR None, because Scorpios aren’t afraid of the dark.

SAGITTARIUS  The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got the rest of our lives ahead of us and you’re worrying about a stupid light bulb?

CAPRICORN  I don’t have time for these foolish jokes.

AQUARIUS  Well, you see, energy is really matter and matter is really energy and light is a form of energy but the light bulb is matter, and . . .

PISCES  What light bulb?