But who is Lieutenant Landfill?? Dotty, what on earth is going on?
Size 15 clown shoes on, guzzle coffee. Head to Temple Gardens, corner of Windlesham Gardens. Dot over fading owl, artist unknown. Skidaddle for more coffee at the Dials. Retrieve abandoned space age vacuum cleaner on Clifton Hill. Take to art studio in Powis Square, paint green and dot with vigour. Reposition next to dotty wall at Temple Gardens. Head to Greek cafe at Dials roundabout for cake. Retrieve abandoned microwave and old tea set at Montpelier Cresent, hide under a tree, for journey back to art studio. On return to studio, spot an old silver gas heater and viaduct pipes in a skip on Goldsmid Road.
Situation critical, empty a surf bag at Goldsmid Road and collect outstanding items. Drag back along Dyke Road, trying to look inconspicuous. Once in studio, layout in military fashion, spray, acrylic tubes, circular stencils, half empty tins. Kettle on, paint brush poised, prepare new finds to create robots for Temple Gardens in art studio.
Fast forward few days later, head down to my newest and proudest outdoor dotty art. Local neighbour runs out, your vacuum cleaner has been stolen. Slightly perturbed, I ponder this action whilst flicking vinyl’s in a cafe on Chatham Place, at which point, I noticed, directly opposite an armless mutant mannequin. Not wanting to be accused of committing a heinous crime, I carried said find, under my arm and took the dials back streets back to art studio HQ.
Almost there, my mind whirring the same sentence, don’t find anything else, don’t find anything else, and sure enough, I found something else. A big colourful bucket of lego, I just couldn’t live with myself if this ended up on a landfill. I turn the key to art studio HQ, armless mutant mannequin under my arm, with swinging lego bucket on its leg, just about the shut door and postman asks if I’m doing anything interesting over the weekend, I respond in an Hunch Back of Notra Damme manner, yes I will concocting art in my laboratory, I must not be disturbed. After an evening of sticking broken bits of lego to the mutant mannequin and bashing together two new robot creations, the realisation hit me, that an art incarnation had been born. Ladies and Gentleman I bring to you Lieutenant Landfill.
The robots shall remain ambiguous, ambiguous 1 and ambiguous 2, which was which, is beyond me. Whilst on route to Temple Gardens with my latest creations a thunderbolt gallery name thwacked me in my brain, for I, Artist Dotty, have created the wonder that is The Tat Modern. Anyway cut a long story short, I tootled down to Travis Perkins, to grab a freebie piece of wood. Created a lovely green Tat Modern sign, with a small sillyphosical arrow, pointing to the art and the rest was history.
Pop down folks, it should all still be there. Oh and I apologise if the mutant mannequin, Lieutenant Landfill, scares you at night, this was an oversight on my part.