Hello, is that John?” 

“No, no, it’s Graham”

That makes sense. There’s none of that “being in character” with these guys because if we know anything about Graham and John we know they’re very down to earth. 

Graham is Graham Fellows and John is John Shuttleworth and John is Graham’s… I was going to say creation, but that sounds a bit Frankenstein, so let’s say friend who he’s been touring as – or with – for 40 years. 

You might know Graham from his 1979 hit ‘Jilted John’. “Yeah, of course, though weirdly, a lot of people don’t know that. They know “Gordon is a moron”, which wasn’t even the title of the song.” And then Graham met John. Or maybe found John. 

“I was trying to be a serious songwriter like John Shuttleworth is trying to be a serious songwriter. I had a songwriting deal, and I used to hear these awful demos that they were used to get. They called them Turkey tapes, and they were very funny. And it was people just like John Shuttleworth sitting with their organs, usually a keyboard with the built-in drums, and you could hear someone washing up in the background, that sort of thing. Very funny and but very heartfelt. And I decided to do my own version of that. So that’s how John Shuttleworth was created. 

“I sent a tape into my publisher in disguise thing, hoping to trick them, and for a few days, they didn’t know who it was”.

What was the reaction? “Well, it got the right reaction – or maybe the wrong reaction because they lost interest in my serious, Graham Fellows songs and suddenly wanted more John Shuttleworth. So then, yeah, put all my stuff on the back burner and start doing more Shuttleworth – and 40 years later, here we are.”

And John, with respect, has done rather better than Graham. A Perrier aeward, a Eurovision Special, supporting Blur and Robert Plant, two highly successful books with a third on the way along with a new CD (The Pumice Stone and Other Rock Songs)… Do you ever get a bit grumpy, a bit resentful and think ‘he gets all the attention, but I’m better than he is’. 

“Well, no, it’s funny because it’s taken a long time, but I‘ve realised that when I write my own songs, they’re like John Shuttleworth songs. Or put it the other way around. When I do a John Shuttleworth song, it’s a Graham Fellows song. It’s got my sense of humour, but it’s putting it in a kind of dramatic scenario, you know.

Do you like him? “Yes, I do. I like him immensely, though I also slightly I pity him. He’s totally asexual, isn’t he? You just cannot imagine John talking about sex or doing it. I mean, I’m not saying I’m, you know, I’m not a particularly sexy man but I am more sexy than John. Definitely.”

 That’s not a high bar. Graham.

“No, but I do like him. I don’t know if I’d want to hang out with him for too long though”.  

Raise the ‘Oof, Corn Exchange, March 4