I may be the first sports writer who’s willing to admit that I am not that good at the sport I write about. This possibly isn’t news to anyone who has seen me play football, but recent advancements in modern technology such as the video camera have enabled yours truly to watch games I’ve played in and finally understanding why I quite often didn’t play the closing stages of games. Or the opening stages either. 

It raises interesting questions around perspectives in grassroots sport because before the advent of video evidence, I was convinced I was playing exceptionally well and was harshly substituted and although I rarely challenged the coach understanding they had decisions to make. (The few times I have been recorded serve a similar purpose to Colonel Nathan Jessup in A Few Good Men by screaming “You can’t handle the truth.”)

Similarly, I’m not the first sports writer to have outlandish opinions about a sport I know very little about. I have never once picked up a cricket bat, but it is my steadfast belief that if I did and could be bothered I would be one of the finest batsmen the world has ever seen. People often say they would love to see me deal with a ball traveling towards me at up to 80 miles an hour and my response is I would simply just whack it as hard as I could. This was often met with uproarious laughter like every single one of my anecdotes. Those of you that have played cricket may scoff and spit out your tea and scones having read that but I have played hurling – Ireland’s bat and ball game in which everyone carries a stick at all times and striking the ball unopposed like you do in cricket is a pipe dream. 

Some may question if I claim to be so good at cricket then why don’t I make a lucrative career out of it. The main reason being I am not motivated by money, I am motivated purely by Montpelier Women’s Football Club. The other thing is I don’t want to travel as much as any top class athlete has to and although there is travel involved with MVWFC it never takes up any more than a day of traveling.

You never truly know what someone thinks of you until you die and all those lovely things are said about you at your funeral but I have found a shortcut with cricket fans. I simply offer my opinion on how good I am at cricket and what I get in return is a summation of my personality. Recently someone agreed with this and pointed out that I would take great pleasure in winding up bowlers by staying in for as long as possible. Which takes us to the current Ashes series – or, by the time you read this, the last Ashes series – which has been incredibly entertaining and equally vindicating. Although as a coach I understand a defensive style and the importance of staying in for an extended period of time, where’s the fun in that? I’ve always enjoyed coaches whose modus operandi is to win in the most entertaining way possible and Brendon McCullum certainly falls into that category because, although there is a thinking that all sport is a results based business, I couldn’t disagree more. The verb used to describe sport at all levels is play and with that there are connotations of being child-like and free from the realities and responsibilities of the big bad world. We play sports to exercise, to socialise and to entertain ourselves and others. There is something incredibly beautiful about athletes at the pinnacle of their career being reminded of this and being told to just whack it as hard as you can.