“Can I have a black Americano, a couple of slices of sourdough and the smoked salmon”.

“Of course,” said the mildly distracted student working the till. “And would that be interest only or repayment?”

 Café culture. I love café culture. I grew up on tales of Parisian cafés and Satre, Soho and films like Expresso Bongo. I got married in a café. The rise in café culture is one of the biggest changes in our world in the last 30 years, so much so that one of the best loved jokes in our neighbourhood goes like this.  

“Look, there’s an empty shop. What it’s going to be?” 

“A café!” 

It’s a cracking joke, never fails. But it’s easy  to forget that life wasn’t always like this. Once upon a time, when I was a young buck about town, getting a decent cup of coffee was a bit of a mission. Back then, I lived in London, and there were maybe half a dozen places you could go to get a decent cup. There were the famous names like Bar Italia, the Portuguese on Goldhawk Rd, Café Delancey in Camden (where I got married) and precious few others. There was a place upstairs on Portobello and one opposite the Donmar in Seven Dials. 

Now we’re in a different Seven Dials, and the reason I’m thinking about coffee and cafés is that there’s been a fair storm brewing in our ‘hood about a new coffee shop opening. I was thinking about trying to shoehorn something about ‘blowing a gale’, but… already the gag’s having to work too hard.  

Gail’s Bakery is opening a new branch on the corner where there was recently Night Shift and before that Small Batch, and it’s all gone a bit net curtain twitcher. Some wag with a spray can has had his funny half-hour. A grafitti penis? Really. A grafitti penis and the word “Boring”. Move over Banksy, there’s a new kid in town. 

The Community Facebook page went full of “We don’t need another café. What we need is a shoe shop” type posts, and in fairness, who doesn’t like shoe shops? But anyway, as I said, I kinda like cafés and if there’s another café, that’s OK. And if it’s good, that’s also OK. 

Because we’re professionals, the esteemed Food Editor and I decided to try Gail’s and as the Dials branch isn’t open yet – it’s “opening soon” – we went to the North Road branch for breakfast. And very nice it was too. She had a latte and avocado with salsa verde on toast. I had a black Americano, and a couple of slices of toast – sourdough, obvs – and butter. I was going to have the smoked salmon, but there were tax implications. Toast is fine. £17.

Café culture is like this now. It’s gone kinda posh – we’re a long way from the world of Bongo Herbert (the Cliff Richard character from Expresso Bongo). This morning, like most mornings, I went to the Flour Pot. I love the Flour Pot, but it’s one of the main reasons why I haven’t taken early retirement. Two loaves, a dozen eggs and two croissants. £19.80. 

Maybe it’s best to look at it like this. We bang on here quite a lot about climate and the environment and all that – hopefully you’ve noticed – and if it costs a bit more to have food that’s properly produced, made from animals that are properly kept, well that’s what happens. You can’t have your climate conscience and your environment conscience and treat animals well and still have a chicken that costs £2. Bogoff. Can’t happen. It costs a bit more, so you pay your – OK, considerable – money and you make your choice. If the price of a cheap bacon sarnie is a pig in a cage it can’t move in, then I don’t want that bacon sarnie. If your flat white is made with milk from a cow whose kid has been ripped from her and who’s never seen daylight, then I don’t want that flat white. It’s straightforward.

Actually, I’m not entirely sure the negative chat is because it’s a café. I’m not even sure it’s because of the prices. I kinda suspect it’s because there’s an idea that it’s corporate. “There’s a Gail’s in Hove! And in the North Laine!! It’s a chain! It’s a chain!!” It’s a bit knee-jerk, this idea that if it’s a chain it must be corporate and if it’s corporate it must be bad. Well, I’m not sure life’s that simple, and as our esteemed Food Editor finds out on page 8, Gail’s is actually on the side of the angels.  To mis-quote Al Gore – and doesn’t he seem a long time ago now – it’s an inconvenient truth.

There’s a bit of a coffee theme in this issue. On page 6, there’s a feature on how a couple of fantastically clever people are using used coffee to create beautiful kitchen worktops and furniture. They’re lovely people, they make really beautiful stuff, it’s all recycled. It’s a really cool story. There’s not a lot not to like. And we’ve got an exclusive – well, it’s not really exclusive, but it’s what journalists say – interview with our outgoing MP, Caroline Lucas.    

In other news, the new puppies – I know that’s what you’re really interested in – have settled in perfectly. Can’t imagine life without them.