“Oooh, look at those amazing blue eyes”.
My dear friend Suzi has come to see me ensconsed in my new West Hill abode and we are sitting side-by-side over tea on my sofa, swiping left and right.
“I like his coat”, she says breathlessly, “There’s definitely something about him”.
Gingerly she swipes right. We move on to the next pic.
Suzi lost her husband a couple of years ago and is desperately trying to get ‘out there’ again. However, lonely nights, no cuddles, and no welcome home, are weighing heavily on her.
So here we are on social media trying to find a mate. Not unusual, you think? Well, no. Except this is no ordinary ‘Tinder’ – it’s what I call ‘Cat Tinder’.
We are deep in Worthing’s Cat Welfare Trust’s website, desperately seeking a furry companion for my bereaved friend. We are amazed – and somewhat bemused – by the Tinder-like menu for choosing a homeless puss.
‘Oh, he’s gorgeous”, purrs my friend over a fluffy mog, “I’d definitely like him to cuddle up to me on my bed.”
As a shameless cat lover myself, I know, first-hand, the benefits of being owned by a gorgeous furry monster. When I moved south in darkest December my dear boy, Woolf, plonked himself on me, rubbed noses and reassured me all would be well.
When I return late at night after my weekly work commute to London he deftly drops off the garden wall with a loud, ‘Meow, where have you been? I want my supper, and a cuddle, you’re late!’ We slink in together, and I’m home.
Indeed, the research in the 2022 Cat Protection League survey of 10,000 cat owners (“Cats & Their Stats) found positive psychological and physical benefits from cat ownership.
67% of people interviewed said their cats gave them something to get up for in the morning and 21% said their cats helped them feel less stressed.
WAY (Widowed and Young) for people whose partners have died aerly agree cats can help mental health, particularly when we’re grieving.
Stroking cats is well-known for lowering blood-pressure in owners. Plus, there is benefit in talking to your cat about your own woes. Play makes everyone smile.
I remember being sad myself and when I cried prone on the sofa, Woolf would jump on my chest and purr nose-to-nose to me with cat empathy.
Cat vocalisations (mews, purrs, chirps, in differing tones) are how cats bond with their owners. They only ‘meow’ to those they care about (although it’s more likely they’re demanding food, attention, play, in that order).
Suzi is teetering on the brink. ‘I don’t know if I could bear to lose him’, she says wistfully. ‘What if something happened to me?’
‘Well,’ I say, looking around for an alert lurking Woolf, hoping he’s out of ear shot, ‘I could always have him.’ Woolf had had a little sister, Frida, who’d died too soon and broke my heart. “There’s always room for two…”
“Hmm”, Suzi ponders, glancing at her phone. ‘Oooh, he’s nice’. I watch her peruse fabulously tiger markings and emerald eyes. I sense another solo soul is becoming a lost cause. “I might just give them a ring..I’ve got all the cat stuff in the loft”.
I know when best to keep quiet. I stroke a prone Woolfy stretched on my lap, purring like a well-oiled motor, and just smile.
Growing Old(er) Disgracefully by
Corinne Sweet
Psychotherapist, writer, broadcaster
The Whistler 