Artist Dotty, Brighton Life, Fashion

Artist Dotty has a joke about a… 

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Artist Dotty has recently been wondering around the streets of West Hill, relentlessly trying to think of new jokes. Why? Well, he hit the boards in Brighton and endured a few petrol shares to various downtrodden dives in the darkened outbacks of nowhere.  Now that venues are rocking out comedy nights again, Artist Dotty wanted to clinch one zeitgeist joke  that totally encapsulates the current mood of technology verses the human spirit. So with his Mont Blanc pen and coffee, initial scribbles we’re underway.

It’s is hard to get to the right joke with a particular theme when there is a veracious canine specimen dangling from your knee caps.  After careful extraction of said mutt, my channelling process begins. First a deep breath, allow the higher forces to drop comedy gold from the sky.  

Sat on a bench near Seven Dials, watching car driving comparable to that of the Arc Du Triomphe. I wanted this joke to be the next bumper sticker to fund my art, although being an avid two-wheeler cyclist and world record holder on a self-propelled push scooter, that might be too much of a contradiction. The thoughts start streaming in. 

I’m a Northerner and love Northern lingo A.I sounds slightly Northern in its intonation.  I now have a bank of over 1000 personally written jokes which I smash out while doing Dotty art, a sort of double hat creative combo.  

But to walk out of the door and decide to plonk myself on a park bench to mentally decide I want one diamondo jokio is putting a huge pressure on producing a result. But I have to say that pressure paid dividends. The joke landed in my lap. 

I appreciate this build up is the worlds longest build up to a joke and by now you are completely gripped on my revelation and disclosure of greatness. But before I reveal the joke, while also thinking about pointillism and neon light boxes, I would just like to thank The West Hill Whistler for supporting my art and giving me an outlet to spill out these and many more thoughts (Ed: We wouldn’t be us without you). Perhaps they would consider a commercial angle to mutually share the joke to the world. So without further a due here it is, the joke. 

I stood on the park bench. An elderly lady was walking past looking perplexed, she turned I delivered . THE JOKE : I don’t believe in AI, I believe in A UP.

She laughed and carried on walking. OK, admittedly I couldn’t hold my
audience, but the hessian shopping bag needed to take priority .

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Another tale told by an idiot?

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Skip Kelly, Montpelier Villa Women’s own Ted Lasso, has an existential crisis

In my role as a football coach, I’m far more inclined to think about who’s going to follow in my footsteps not from an egotistical point of view but rather an awareness of how quickly institutions can change and how if that isn’t managed correctly you end up with Frank Lampard in charge. Or Sam Allardyce. 

In my role as an educator I occupy a classroom that’s much older than I am and although my name may not adorn the door frame, it is colloquially known as my room. I often think of the educators who claimed ownership of that room before me, and how there’s no record of that beyond the memories of the students who sat there. The conclusion I often draw is that no matter how important you think you are at the time, life goes on regardless. “Out, out, brief candle!”

When I first became the coach at Villa, I was reluctant because I was convinced there were better female coaches than me. Nothing since has dissuaded me from this view and I can now name people who are better coaches than I am but the sidelines in women’s football are still populated by people like me. 

It’s no coincidence that women’s football has grown exponentially since I became involved with it. However there are attitudes that still exist where coaches see womens football beneath them which in turn leads to a reduced talent pool in the coaching side and means a lot of womens sides are in the position of hiring substandard coaches. 

This isn’t a reflection on the many volunteers who give up their time, energy and often money to facilitate football for the growing womens game but rather a comment on the likes of the NWSL abuse scandal which led to five coaches resigning because of a systemic culture of sexual harassment and abuse, it’s a comment on the fact that this led to both the Venezuela and Australia national teams spoke about the abuse they had encountered and finally a question that if it can happen in these national organisations then what’s stopping it from happening at grassroots level? 

This isn’t a letter of resignation but the person that follows me needs to be capable and needs to ensure a safe environment for all who play the game. I have no doubt that our squad will be able to adapt to these changes when they come and appoint someone more capable than I am, however I am concerned about the apathy that still exists in some quarters to womens football which ultimately leads to horrendous experiences for people. 

Sinead Farrelly is likely to play for Ireland against Australia in the World Cup this summer, that in itself isn’t noteworthy but the fact she is coming out of retirement is. She retired at the age of 27 and now at 33 arguably lost her best football years struggling to deal with the trauma of being sexually coerced by a coach. How many other players have had to deal with similar issues and miss out on the game they love because of people abusing their power? 

Solutions are difficult but perhaps the FA could lead the way and make spending time in the women’s game mandatory for any aspiring coaches who want to coach in the professional game. This would have the effect on certain dinosaurs that these people are individuals who are impacted profoundly by what their coaches say and do. 

Not for the first time, women’s football is growing at a level that no-one is prepared for and decisions that will be made over the next few years will have impacts that will be felt for generations to come. 

What football as a whole can’t afford to happen is this story to be “a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing.” 

Brighton Life, Eating Out, Food & Drink, Gull About Town, Uncategorized

Gull About Town – June 2023

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There’s a real buzz in the bird world this month as a whole new community heads down to the beach. And as every scavenger knows, where there’s a day out at the beach, there’s a delicious trail of leftovers for the more discerning birds.  

Your Gull has already spotted the tasty treats the Salty Sea Birds, those cold water swimmers we share a nod with in all weathers, have in the pockets of their Dry Robes. So it was with beak open, she flew to check out the chow at Brighton’s new Sea Lanes down at Black Rock (see below). 

Sadly, the healthy breakfast bars were not quite what your Gull would call rich pickings, but a hop onto a thermal to follow some likely ladies over to the Bison Bar did the trick. As the BBQ fired and the sun set, the variations on a humble burger dazzled your Gull. 

It’s a theme along the beach. From Kemptown’s growing food scene to Lucky Beach and down to Rockwater in Hove, the competition is more about how to fake your meat than luring the locals. 

Holding court right in the centre of Brighton’s beachfront, Lucky Beach Cafe (pictured) is rated in the top 20 sustainable businesses in the UK with the highest rating by the Sustainable Restaurant Association.  But it’s not all about pea protein; after  years of picking at its delicious vegan burger, your Gull was delighted to find its new fresh crab and nduja tostadas with lobster aioli popping out of the bin bags after a busy night on the beach. 

But the Gull has always been about the best ingredients, vegan or regeneratively farmed, and so was rather thrilled to find Salt Shed bringing brisket all the way from Brick Lane to North Laine. Flying back to West Hill as the sun set, the smell of salt beef wafting up from Church Street was enough to give your bird a lift onto the final thermal home. 

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Best local in Brighton: The Eddy

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It was like when Usain Bolt was at his peak. Everyone would line up, but everyone knew they were racing for second place. No one minded. It was just the way it was. It was like that when the Bravos were announced and there was a category for “The Best Local” and The Eddy lined up on the grid. You see, the Bravos aren’t voted for by industry or by commerce or so-proclaimed experts, they’re voted for by the public. By us. (Ed’s disclaimer. The Eddy is The Whistler’s local and yes, we’re a little bit biased).

Gilly: Congratulations. First of all, how does it feel? 

Hatt: I think it’s the reward of all the hard work. It’s great to know that people obviously love our pub as much as we love it ourselves. 

Gilly: What does it mean “Best Local”? ‘The Pub’ in Britain has always been about community. It’s somewhere you go to be welcomed into a place that you’d call a second home. And in a time when people are so wrapped up in the social media world, this is the real world, isn’t it? 

Hatt: We’ve always tried to get to know the locals, been aware of people in the streets, recognise people, say hello. And then call people by their name. It’s all about remembering the people and knowing that they’re important. Welcoming people when they come into the pub and when they leave the pub saying goodbye, thanks for coming. All those little details make people feel special. When we took the pub over (Hatt and Mark Reed took over the pub the month before the first Covid lockdown) we had to really work at it because nobody used to come in here. The locals hated this pub because it was like a club with horrible music and drugs at the weekend. So it was a lot of hard work. Mark’s pretty good at schmoozing people and we just really put our arms around the neighbourhood. 

We’ve got a fantastic team. People like Bethany are so important to us  and to the locals who come here. 

Gilly: As a punter I know I’m going to get looked after, I know there’s not going to be any trouble. It feels really safe for women coming out on their own, they can sit at the bar knowing that they’re completely safe. 

Hatt: We have our eye on everybody, we’re here all the time and know how it all works. 

Jess: People don’t realise how much work we actually put into the pub and what makes all our events successful is the amount of detail that we put into it. Hatt and I are really good team. We’re absolutely on the same page. We both come from fashion world, the art world, and we’re used to organising shows. 

Gilly: So take me through the Bob Ross Night as an example. (Bob Ross is painter, big hair…  you’ll have to go to one of the nights  and see) Tell us about the presenter, Dolly Rocket. 

Jess: Dolly Rocket and I were together in a cabaret group in the 1980s and Dolly has gone on to become a notorious Brightonian. She runs Proud Cabaret in Kemp Town. And when we realised that Bob Ross Nights were a thing, we decided to make it more fun, throw in a bit of glitter and glitz, So we asked Dolly and she jumped straight on board. 

Hatt: She’s the long lost love child of Bob Ross, so she comes in this Bob Ross outfit and she’s larger than life and really funny. It puts all the painters at ease. 

Jess: When we organise an event, we think how would we like it to be. Each time, we set up an easel and get everything – all the brushes, the paint,the palate, everything in place. We ask oursleves: ‘Have I got somewhere for my drink? Have I got somewhere I can sit down? Is it comfortable?’ This is how we plan our stuff. We have very high standards, and we want our guests to really enjoy themselves and go away.

Hatt: All the events are really good fun. Quite a few people just come to sit and watch. I don’t think we’ll ever do events in the pub where we’re closed for private parties birthday parties. It has to be open to the public, you know, otherwise it becomes an exclusive thing. And we don’t want that. We live upstairs, so it’s our home. It’s as important to us as it is to everyone else.

l67A Upper Gloucester Road, Brighton BN1 3LQ

http://www.facebook.com/eddybrighton

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Dilsk and Sky Park Farm

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Food editor Gilly Smith really does have the best job in town… 

The story of provenance from the South Downs and the English Channel is usually more than enough for me, but pair it with a chef who has the eye of an artist and a deep love of food, preferably inspired by cooking as a toddler at his grandmother’s side, and I’m a very happy diner indeed.

Tom Stephens at dilsk, Brighton’s new pearl in the fine dining scene at Drake’s on Kemptown’s seafront, is exactly that chef. Fresh from 64 Degrees where he worked as head chef for four years with Great British Menu winner, Michael Bremner, he and Maddy Riches from Bremner’s other restaurant, Murmur, have combined their cheffy super talent and front of house warmth to bring us a new fine dining experience that’s all about ethical sourcing.  And yes, Tom even learned to cook at his grandmother’s side… 

Its two menus, the shorter five courses at £55 per head and the full nine courses at £95, with options for wine pairing with both, showcase Tom and Maddy’s vision: oyster with trout roe, laminated brioche with wild garlic, south coast cod with violet artichoke, monk’s beard and smoked mussel – just some of the super-seasonal delights which may or may not be on offer when you’re reading this.  Perched just above Brighton Beach House, Soho House’s shiny but ethically rather shabby seaside cousin, it’ll scoop up the diners looking for the real Sussex larder. 

This is all about local, ethical, sustainable food, but it brings together Tom’s command of Bremner’s modernist chef toys, his classical training under Tom Kerridge, Marcus Eaves at Pied a Terre and Simon Rogan at Fera at Claridges to paint the most beautiful pictures on his plates. 

Brighton (and particularly, Hove) needs more fabulous kitchens that care about taste, but also those that remind us that its signature passion used to be about welfare and planet too.  Those who like to be seen in the many glittery restaurants here may want to ask the waiters where the fish, meat and dairy comes from before parading their factory farmed produce on Insta. dilsk wears its heart on its sleeve; the sustainable cotton uniforms for kitchen and servers are deliberate reminders that where you get your stuff from matters. That’s what great food is really about.

Dilsk @ Drake’s Hotel

44 Marine Parade, Kemptown BN2 1PE

01273 696934

info@dilsk.co.uk

https://dilsk.co.uk/

Harting is a sublime hour’s drive through the kind of countryside you have to pinch yourself to remember is England in spring.  It’s a glorious appetiser for dinner at THE GRAZING ROOMS AT SKY PARK FARM, one of the increasing number of countryside food finds as farmers look for new ways to make a buck. You’ll pardon the pun; this is ancient land where the red deer of Harting have strutted in private parkland for hundreds of years, symbols of power and status.  

Since food has become a destination in the last decade or so, more and more people with a bit of spare cash are spotting the opportunity to open these spaces up and using their imaginations to create rather wonderful experiences of life on a working farm. Sky Park now has a Farm Shop with ‘experiential shopping’   including a milk vending machine, day ager, smoker and an internal bee hive.

But it’s Gordon Ramsay and Clare Smyth protégée, Sean Williams who is the new star of the show here, serving up the best local produce with superstar-in-waiting panache. He still helps Ramsay out as his private chef but he’s a man of the woods, and we can get very excited indeed about his plans for outdoor cooking as the weather warms. And yes, there’s a lot of venison on the menu.

There’s also plans for cooking demos with all sorts of exciting folk committed, as the new owners and Sean are, to preserving the farm’s rare parkland landscape and their values of hyperlocal resilient food culture. Foraging courses and ranger-led trails are just some of the exciting plans for the summer. Bring your kids! 

Sky Park is open for breakfast and lunch from Wednesday – Sunday each week, 

Sky Park Farm 

West Harting, Petersfield, GU31 5PT 

01730 634634

https://www.skyparkfarm.com/

Everything you ever wanted to know about life in Brighton (OK, and Hove)